Monday, March 7, 2011

TIRED

Wow, today was a hard day. Probably one of my hardest since I've had Mackenzie. For the past week my body hasn't felt right. I made a dish that I loved and the next morning it came right up and now I am disgusted to even think about it. Since then I have lost my appetite, and have lost a few pounds because of it. Every time I have a meal it doesnt seem to agree with my stomach. Not sure if its an allergy to dairy or wheat or what the heck is going on with me...maybe its just my hormones who knows. On top of not feeling well with low energy with the lack of food and nursing, I am exhausted! Why, because I have a 3 month old and a almost 3 year old and one of them wakes up 2-3 times a night and the other at 7am!
So today I just hit the point of IM SO FREAKING TIRED! I'm tired of the screaming, tired of Madison not listening, tired of not feeling good, tired of my headaches, tired of a husband who works 24/7, tired of cleaning the house up, and the list goes on. It's been a really hard day filled with lots and lots of tears. My poor Madison doesn't really understand why mommy is so sad and it broke my heart to be so worn out that I just laid on the couch crying and watching her play all by herself happy as can be. Tonight as i was saying goodnight to her I thanked her for being so good, and that I was sorry for being so sad today. She replies "mommy ill take care of you", and pats me on the back so lovingly. (tears)
At the end of the day I look at my beautiful girls in aw of how beautiful and cute they are and how they are worth it all. Its so hard to be in the moment of anger during the day and think but man your so cute. Thank God that he give us those moments to remind us how special they are.
Heres to a better day tomorrow!
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6 comments:

  1. AnnaMarch 8, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    Oh Bethany I'm so sorry! I'd be happy to take Madison for a few hours any day, Malea would LOVE to have someone to play with!!! :) Please don't hesitate to call/text me.

    Anna

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  2. Lacy Fontaine PhotographyMarch 8, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Awww man Bethany you are such an amazing mom! Seriously even on the hard days your awesome .... If you ever want to drop off Madison here fora few hours feel free!!

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  3. Lacy Fontaine PhotographyMarch 8, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    I'd offer to pick her up but i don't have enough room in my car.

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  4. BethanyMarch 8, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Thanks girls. Today is a MUCH better day. Mackenzie slept 7 1/2 hrs last night which makes a world of difference. I've been out and about today with my mom and im feeling better physically and emotionally.

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  5. TiffanyMarch 8, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    Sometimes you gotta have those days where you completely break down. It's like getting all of the stressful stuff, etc. out of your system so you can start fresh. Even though it doesn't actually make all that stuff go away, it let's us feel human.

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  6. BethanyMarch 8, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    yes true Tiffany

    ReplyDelete

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